Spring Cleaning

See!  This is exactly why I didn't want to blog in the first place!  It's been two months since my last post.  I feel like such a failure....almost.

So, the husband is offshore and my orthopedic surgeon has given me the thumbs up to "do whatever I want" in regards to my broken arm.  Yay!  So, this created an avalanche of ideas in my head.  I have to get the veggie garden planted, finish crochet projects I started before the 'incident', redesign the twins bedrooms, dust the ceiling fans, wash the base boards, add extra shelves to the laundry room and pantry, put together the twins summer homeschooling curriculum and finish the various Pinterest projects I have laying around in various states of completion.

I will really do just about ANYTHING to avoid going back into the workforce, won't I?  Yes.  Yes, I will.

 The veggie garden is weeded, but not yet planted, I've finished most of my crochet projects, I have bedding for the twins rooms (but no idea for paint, wall decor or shelves), ceiling fans will have to wait till tomorrow, base board cleaning will be a great opportunity for the twins to earn some scratch, shelves for the laundry room and pantry...I think I'll defer to the husband for that one, homeschooling curriculum will be an all-day thing for next week...blah blah blah....BUT....I finished a Pinterest project today!

I KNOW!!!  I'm just as excited as you!  I'm fodder for Bill Maher's genius stand-up, that's for sure, but I feel accomplished and that's all that matters!

I made THAT wreath.  You know the one.  The terra cotta pot wreath!  It's all over Pinterest and it's FABULOUS!  Plus, it's easy.  So, go ahead and buy some supplies, slap one together and feel as accomplished as I do.  You won't be sorry.  Next thing you know, you'll be making black bean brownies and avocado chocolate pudding (coincidentally, my next fun recipe to try).

I Shot The Duck and the Damned Thing Shot Back

Yes, old dogs can learn new tricks...and new lessons, as well.  While 42 is by no means ancient, it is certainly not the ideal age to bust out the roller skates with the idea that 'it's just like riding a bike'.  It's not.  I mean it.

I recall freely flowing up and down the streets of our old neighborhood as a child, wind in my hair as I glided hither and thither, spinning, twirling, almost..but not quite...falling and bounding back up again to continue on my merry way.  I don't like to brag, but on our block I was the rollerskating version of Dorothy Hamill.  Don't know who she is?  Google it, you obnoxious little brat...you and your rap music and saggy jeans.  Get a job!  Ahem...anyway, I digress.  I really loved skating and I wore my skates at every opportunity.  Call me Tootie!  You've never heard of her either?  Youth.  Bah.

Funny things happen to a body as it ages.  Joints stiffen, balance becomes a bit more tenuous, and our pride is much more easily wounded than it was in our younger days.  So, when a sweet group of kids who think the WORLD of me asked me to go roller skate with them, in the street in front of our house, at 6:00 at night, in the dark, I was only too happy to oblige!  The twins and my niece and nephew had all donned their roller skates and were zipping up and down the driveway before dinner.  It was so cute and really, had I not been engrossed in helping prepare dinner and watching the Saints get ready to whip some Detroit Lions bahookie, I would have been out there warming up with them in the daylight.  Remember that fact.  Daylight is best for rollerskating.  Lesson #1.  Check.  When they asked me to put on my skates and come out with them, I thought to myself, "what's the harm? A few minutes of up and down the street and we'll all have a fun little memory to tuck away for later."  Yeah, right.

I must admit, I was a bit wobbly.  Ever since the twins were born, my balance has been less than stellar.  I first discovered it on a trip to Disneyland.  The Teacup Ride was NOT as fun as it used to be.  I didn't throw up, but WOW, did I have a tough time shaking that dizzying feeling.  It's a bummer, too, because I was one of those kids who found joy in spinning in circles endlessly just for the euphoric feeling that would follow.  Now, the only feeling I get can best be described as that morning after that party when I drank all that Grappa in the shed out by the peach orchard.

So, I summoned up a bit of courage, taking things slowly at first.  I knew if I wanted to make a habit of my return to skating, I'd have to adjust the trucks.  They were way too stiff.  Lesson #2.  Make sure your equipment is in good working condition.  Check.  I moved up and down the street, slowly gaining the courage to make a turn when the kids all began to inquire about my ability to skate backwards.  Could I do it?  Would I show them how to do it?  Well, yes I could and yes I would!!!  Lesson #3.  Don't let your mouth write checks your body can't cash.  Roger that.

The infamous piece of aggregate.

Yes, back in my younger days, I was quite the backwards skater.  We all were.  We had to be.  It was mandatory if you ever hit the 5-7 p.m. session at Roller World.  It was especially important if you wanted to couple-skate with that really cute guy with the feathered hair and cool comb in his back pocket.  So, knowing the trucks of my skates were much too tight, I took things slowly.  I showed the kids the basics of skating backwards.  Make sure you are looking behind you when necessary.  Check your feet.  Don't attempt the crossover until you practice more.  Oh, and watch out for that piece of aggregate in the road.  Yeah, that one right there....um...oops...too late.





Down I went, falling just like I did so many years ago.  Only, this time, something was different.  Oh, there it was...it was my wrist.  It was bent like a cartoon character's wrist would be right after he tried, rather unsuccessfully, to karate chop a board.

Hong Kong Phooey, number one Super Guy!

There was no question about it.  My LEFT arm was broken.  I felt bones grinding.  Sorry, I don't mean to be graphic, but truly, it was such a bizarre sensation.  Did I mention that this was the first time I'd ever broken a bone?  I instinctively pulled my hand away from my arm to alleviate the awkward sensation of my arm bending where no joint existed only moments earlier.  Luckily, I felt no pain.  Just serious discomfort.  I yelled to the kids to run inside and get dad because my arm was broken.  Little did I know that inside the house, not twenty seconds earlier, the following conversation was going on.

Maurice (the husband):  Where's Leanne?
Mike (my brother):  Oh, she's outside rollerskating with the kids.
Maurice:  Damn, she's gonna break her neck.
Mike:  Nah, she's actually a REALLY good skaterrrrrrr.......cut to front door opening and lots of yelling.
Kids:  Dad!  Mom broke her arm!  Come quick!

Pulled pork was in the crock pot, the Saints game was about to start and now I'm the reason that my brother and sister-in-law had to clean up my kitchen and babysit my kids that night and my husband missed dinner AND the entire game.  All I could think to do was continue to apologize to them.  Tracy pulled off my skates as I laid in the street.  She even put on my flip flops for me.  She's awesome, have I mentioned that before?  My brother kept reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.  He's so awesome, too.  He brought out the cookie sheet and a dish towel for me.  The cookie sheet kept my wrist straight and the dish towel covered the carnage I was not quite ready to see.  If you ever have to triage a broken arm, these two items are a must.  I don't care that the doctor and some of the nurses looked at me like I was a nut job when I explained their very important role in my care.  Jerks.  What did they know?  I found comfort, both physically and emotionally, because I had these items.  And my dear, sweet husband, who puts up with SO much from me and our spawn, he has a higher place in Heaven because of me and my antics.  He made fun of me all the way to the emergency room.  He made me bust out laughing when I clearly should have been freaking out.  He even answered questions for me when I asked, 'is this what it felt like when you broke your arm, leg, shoulder, foot'...fill in the blank, the boy is a hot mess of accidents.

I won't bore you with the ER garbage.  We all know how that goes down.  Wait right here...explain what happened (insert humiliation here), more waiting....on a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you experiencing, just hang on and the doctor will be in soon (repeated 47 times over the course of four hours)...let's get some vitals, wait some more...and then the morphine.  Blessed morphine turned what could have been a horrid experience into something fun and exciting!  It also calmed me enough to give me a moment of clarity.  My arm was starting to swell.  My finger was next in line.  Get the wedding ring off NOW!  Phew.

After a valiant attempt at a reduction, the doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.  Surgery was necessary and thank the LORD for Facebook and good friends who referred me to Sierra Pacific Orthopedic!  A scant five days later, I was all stitched up, a new titanium plate and a few sassy little screws and zip ties holding together my arm and a good bit of my pride as well.

Less than 24 hours after the surgery, the husband went offshore, giving me yet another opportunity to challenge myself to do things without help.  Having one's dominant arm in a cast is a trial for another day, and another post, so stay tuned for my tips and tricks for using your non-dominant hand in times of trouble (shaving your pits), amusement (signing your kid's homework) or boredom (crocheting with your foot).  It's sure to be an amusing read, if I do say so myself.

This is after the attempt at the reduction.
Yep, that is NOT fixed.  Time for surgery.

All my bling.  And it just looks nicer, don't you think?

A rare moment of unwrapped joy.  Time to scratch that itch!

Black is slimming.

So, all in all, not a horrible experience.  Insurance covered more than I thought they would and the surgeon didn't charge nearly as much as I thought he would.  Lesson learned and Lord willing, I'll be off to physical therapy with my baby sister-in-law in the weeks to come (yet another fun post just waiting to unfold)!  I can't wait to supinate!






Funny side note...as I'm having a cast put on after surgery, I'm explaining to Gene, the orthopedic technologist, how this all went down.  He proceeds to tell me he grew up rollerskating at a place called Roller World...up in Concord, CA.  We grew up two miles from each other.  Probably skated past each other a few times on a long-ago summer night rollerskating session.  Small world.  Roller World. Shoot the duck, my friends.  Shoot that damned duck.

I Can't Crochet

I love to crochet.  It's something I've always enjoyed doing, and with the advent of the internet and sites like Pinterest, it's even more exciting to see all the possibilities that exist in the world of yarn.

But, when your arm is in a cast, your wrist can't move and your fingers can't really hold onto that hook correctly, it's so frustrating to come across a new pattern you want to try, or a yarn you just HAVE to make into socks.  I think that says just how I'm feeling today.

So, while I wait for my wrist (and my pride) to heal, I'm going to take a few moments to showcase a few of my projects here.  Call it therapy, call it withdrawal, call it boredom.  And if you see anything you like, call me and I'll be happy to add your project to the list I'll be joyfully tackling when I regain full use of my arm!

On the right, I show you a heart I made before the break.
On the left, my sad attempt after the break.  Broken arm, broken heart.

This isn't the greatest picture, but the yarn is OH SO SOFT and perfect for baby blankets.  This one was made for my newest nephew, Ty.  I'm pretty sure he loves it more than any other blanket in the universe.

So, I had a bunch of leftover yarn and the twins asked me to make them some hearts.  I love making hearts.  A few weeks ago, I even bought red, pink and white yarn to make lots of hearts for a Valentine's scarf, but well...you saw how my hearts are turning out lately.  Ugh.  

I also tried tackling an infinity cowl.  It was tough, I'm not gonna lie.  Trying to keep the yarn from twisting is tough.  I started over several times on this one.  My daughter loves it, though, so I can't get rid of it and start over.  She even had me add a few hearts to it...just for decoration.

I think, though, my favorite scarf to crochet ist he corkscrew scarf.  It's easy to make and fun to look at!  

I even like how they look all rolled up.  Fun!

So, here I sit, staring at piles of yarn that can't come to life until this ridiculous cast comes off.  I suppose the least I could do is roll it into balls so it's ready to go when I am.  Sigh.

Quick! It's a Christmas Craft for the Chirrens!

This is going to be quick because well, I have a few other crafts to get to this evening, what with Christmas hot on my heels and a husband who very possibly could hop online to chat soon!

Those of us who've been Pinterested in pinning and testing out new crafts have probably seen this one.  Borax + boiling water + pipe cleaners (and maybe even yarn) = Awesome and easy Christmas ornaments for the kids to make!

I bought pipe cleaners at the Dollar Store, grabbed a box of borax from the grocery store and gave it a try last night.  It was really easy and fun.  The hardest part for the girls was being careful with the boiling water (p.s., I used my electric tea kettle to heat up batches of water quickly, which made pouring easier for them) and the hardest part for me was waiting!  But, it was really fun watching the crystals form over the course of the evening. 

Here's the link I followed to create my first ornaments.  I have yet to spray them or try any other type of preservation.   I'll update if we get that far before moving on to our next project, which will probably involve Borax and maybe some Elmer's glue (Flubber, anyone?).

So pretty!  Green and red pipe cleaners. 

The white yarn I used to hang the pipe cleaners in the Borax solution was almost better than the pipe cleaners!  The frayed pieces of yarn, almost invisible unless you're looking hard for them, created little droplets of crystals hanging from the yarn.  Stay tuned for more yarn-dippin'.

The girls came up with lots of great ideas for ornaments that we'll, no doubt, be trying over the next few weeks.  Here's a curly icicle and the start of a few candy canes.

I'm sort of thinking this newfound art project might turn out to be something similar to the first week of deep-fryer ownership.  Time to think of all the different things we can dip.

Enjoy!

The Banana Bread

This doesn't need much introduction, but if you try it, you'll LOVE it!  That's all I have to say right now.  Oh, except that this stuff freezes really well and the frosting, while not mandatory, adds a certain yum to it.

Banana Bread/Cake

3 bananas, mashed

1 cup sour cream

1/4 cup margarine

1  1/3 cup white sugar

2 eggs or 1/2 cup egg product

1 tsp. vanilla

2 cups flour 

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. nutmeg

dash of clove powder

Handful of any of the following:  dried apricots, golden raisins or boiled cranberries

1/3 cup sliced almonds (they are optional, but when you toast them in a fry pan first, they add SO much yummy goodness!!)

Grease and flour a 9x13 pan (I use a Pyrex dish for best results) or two 7x3 loaf pans.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix bananas and sour cream.  Set aside.  Mix margarine and sugar until well blended.  Add eggs, one at a time.  Then stir in vanilla, banana/sour cream mixture and raisins/apricots/cranberries.  Combine flour, salt, baking powder and baking soda.  Stir into mixture and pour into pan.  If using almonds, sprinkle them on top.  Bake at 350 for 50 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean.

Serve with frosting or butter.  This cake freezes VERY well!

My frosting recipe is really easy, it's just two 8 oz. packages of cream cheese, 1/2 cup margarine, 2 cups powdered sugar, 1 tsp. vanilla and lemon juice to taste.  Mix cream cheese, butter, vanilla and 1 cup of sugar together.  Add additional sugar until desired sweetness is reached.  Add 1/2 tsp. lemon juice and adjust up from there if more tartness is desired.  This makes a good amount of frosting, but this frosting also freezes well for you to save in case the kids want to frost cookies or cupcakes.  Enjoy! 

That carbuncle is actually a juicy, tart cranberry.  This loaf is FULL of them!  Oh, yeah!

It's All About The Cranberries

I've always been fond of cranberries.  I've even tried to grow them once.  I failed, but I might try again someday...when I don't live in the middle of a drier-than-a-popcorn-fart desert.

The berry is a pretty, bright red little gem.  It's delightfully tart and please, don't even get me started on its antioxidant benefits!  And, let's face it, it's harvested using water, and that is just too cool.  There's something so fascinating to me about the look of a cranberry bog at harvest time.  And did you know it's only one of three fruits native to North America?  Yes, it's true!  Check it out.

So, when I asked the girls the question parents all over the world ask their families every day ("So, what do you want for dinner tonight?") they gave me a one-word answer..."PANCAKES"!  I blame my brother because he fed his girls pancakes for dinner last night and then posted the picture on Facebook.  I never stood a chance of cooking anything else!

This time of year is always fun for me because I bake, cook and generally love running the oven instead of the heater.  Cranberries are one of those seasonal items I can only find this time of year.  So whenever possible, I buy a bag at the store and stuff it in my freezer, cataloging its purchase in the back of my mind.  

Twin A gives her seal of approval

Tonight was the night.  It's been a few weeks since I've worked cranberries into a meal, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to antioxidize the twins and see just how delicious these berries would be if I threw them in the batter.

They were a hit!  I don't have a recipe other than to tell you to follow the directions on a box of Bisquick (only one egg, though...keep those babies fluffy).  I added cinnamon, maple flavor and some vanilla.  For the cranberries, I put them in a pot of water on the stove and simmered them for a bit....just long enough to soften them but not so long that they split open.  I wanted to keep the tart flavor confined.  Then, I folded them into the mix and got to flippin' the flapjacks.

Oh, the disappointment.

The twins made short work of the tall stacks!  They were gone in a flash and I had to hide the extras just so I'd have something to freeze.  It was a sad moment when they realized dinner was done.  But it did my heart good to know that while they were saddened by the end of the sugarfest, they would be asking for cranberries in YET another meal.

I love to throw cranberries into everything.  Smoothies, oatmeal, yogurt...you name it, I'll cranberry it!  My version of sour cream banana bread has been morphed into cranberry-sour cream-banana bread.  And it is fanFREAKINGtastic!  Give it a try, you won't be sorry.

Look at that cranberry just BUSTING out of that loaf!

I also experimented throwing cranberries into a pumpkin cookie recipe I tried last year.  TOTALLY gonna do that one again this year.

My brother, who is an amazing cook/baker, puts them in his apple crisp.  HEAVEN!!!!

My mom does some crazy delicious stuff with them, too.  She throws them in the boiling water before she makes Stove Top stuffing.  Yeah, I know!  Those little berries turn that simple side dish into something I could EASILY make into a meal in itself.

I'm also a big fan of using a crockpot, so you can imagine my sheer joy at finding this Spiced Cranberry Cider recipe from Betty Crocker.  Oh, yeah!

What's next, you ask?  I don't know, but if I can get past wasting these joyous little berries of joy for something other than eating, I might work them into a candle or body scrub.

So, there's my take on cranberries...quite possibly my favorite berry.  Yes.  My favorite.

Holiday Hooch

I remember when I was a kid, my parents would let us have a little taste of Bailey's Irish Cream during the holidays.  I was skeptical as a kid because, well, it's booze!!!  It had a bit of a weird flavor under all the chocolately-coffee flavored goodness.  Nevertheless, I liked it and when I finally reached the age of consent, I enjoyed a splash of it in my after-dinner coffee or by itself on the rocks.  Yum!

Well, with the advent of the internet, anything is possible!  The Diver learned to snow ski watching YouTube, Twin A learned how to hand knit from a website she found during a Google search.  There is no end to the wonderful things to be found on our beloved internet.  You see where I'm going, right?  So, you can imagine the sheer joy I felt when I discovered (via Pinterest, of course) that I don't need to spend $25 for a tiny bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream.  I could MAKE IT MYSELF!!!!

Now, you know I wouldn't be posting this unless I'd already done it, but I feel the need to qualify why I made it.  First, well...it's the holiday season and nothing says "let's celebrate the birth of Christ" like a good bottle of homemade hooch, no?  Second, I'm gearing up to add a few new cookies and candies to my Christmas repertoire.  One such candy is going to involve Bailey's.  I'm not sure how just yet, but keep your eyes peeled for more info later.

So, all that being said, here's the recipe I used (modified a bit for my needs) and a cute little picture I took to showcase it's loveliness.  Enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 cans sweetened condensed milk

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup milk (I used 2%)

2 2/3 cups Irish Whiskey (I would have used Jamesons, but well...I don't drink the good stuff...any will do, even if it's not Irish, but I'm sure if it's not, that would be disrupting the order of things somehow)

2 tbsp. chocolate syrup

2 tsp. instant coffee grounds

2 tsp. vanilla extract


Here are a few notes before you mix everything up.  Make sure you have a container that you can close tightly when storing this IN THE FRIDGE.  I washed out a plastic milk carton and it works fabulously, although I had to mark it clearly with a Sharpie so the twins didn't think it was chocolate milk.

I'm not an artist, so just to clarify
...that's supposed to be a skull & crossbones

The mix is fairly thick, and from what I can imagine, you can thicken it as much or as little as you like by shifting the amount of cream and milk.  I think my next batch might be all 2% milk.

I'd also advise on blending everything but the whiskey together first.  Don't overblend, but just enough to incorporate everything.  Lastly, add the whiskey and mix in, again, not too much.  If you blend too much, the cream will separate from the whiskey and it will be GROSS.  I used a blender on low for less than 20 seconds each time.

I had a taste test about 2 hours after making my premiere batch and the coffee taste was too strong.  After letting it sit in the fridge overnight, I tried it again.  It now tastes just like Bailey's!  SUCCESS!!!

Here's what a poured glass looks like, but I don't recommend serving it with this much chocolate syrup...it gives it too much chocolate flavor.  I just wanted to see what it would look like drizzled down the side of the glass.  Kinda fun, but not worth it.

Now, get to mixing and enjoy!

Look!  It even makes a great gift!