Things That Irritate Me Right Now - The Public School Chapter

This is not a comprehensive list, but more of a venty-ranty type thing.  It all started with a little 100.8º F.  Dammit!!!  When I was a kid, that was nowhere NEAR good enough to jump me out of school, but it is now.  And here's the kicker.  The child sporting this internal body temperature (the sweet, honest, wonderful child she is) must stay home from school and NOT return until her fever has been gone for 24 hours.  I can't fake that she doesn't have a fever and send her tomorrow.  She'll be the first one to tell her teacher she was able to take her own temperature and determine the fever's severity.

Now, while I appreciate the fact that other parents don't want their kids getting sick because I sent mine to school in an infective state, it all starts with someone else's kid, right?  I mean, my kid didn't just conjure up this fever all by her lonesome.  It had to come from some other snot-flinging, face-coughing, germ-spreading child.  That, coupled with the rarity of illness with my kids leaves me shooting accusatory glances in the produce section at the grocery store.

This isn't even what's grinding my gears right now, either.  This just sort of snowballed, I suppose.  Now, because I'm "that mom", I'll keep her home from school, even though, as I type this, she's running amok all over the house, sans fever, begging me for some toy she saw on TV.  Here's what chaps my ass...insert deep breath here...the school has reward systems in place for practically everything these days.  Are you a good reader?  Great, you get a pizza party!  Do you exude one of the fifty-seven pillars of good character?  You do?  Awesome!  Here's another bumper sticker to slop onto mom's otherwise un-bumpersticker-laden car.  Oh, and we'll throw in another pizza party and maybe a bag full of candy, too!  Did you (or your parent) earn $200 in pledges for the jog-a-thon?  Okey dokey, you get a t-shirt and a popsicle!  If you earned $500, you get out of class for the afternoon to have a bounce house rockin' party with the principal!  Or, better yet, how about a limo ride to McDonalds?  I'm sure everything on the menu there is approved by our First Lady who is making it her goal to get everyone's kids in tip-top shape and eating only the healthiest of foods.  Wait, wait...you never missed a single day of school ALL YEAR?  HOLY COW, how do you do it!??  Well, in that case, you'll be rewarded for that magic, too!  Good job!!!

Okay, that's all the cheerleading (with my editorial comments added for effect) that my kids hear at school, now you can only imagine what I have to hear when they can't earn the big bucks for the jog-a-thon because going door-to-door isn't allowed and even if it were, every other house on the block is competing for the same pledges, mommy doesn't have a job or co-workers and daddy won't hit up his co-workers because he works too far away and won't be home in time...blah blah blah.  I have to tell my kids practically every day that just because you picked up garbage during your ENTIRE lunch break, does NOT ensure you will be awarded with a Character Counts bumper sticker for caring about trash.  And here it is.....no honey, I'm sorry but you have to stay home from school tomorrow and yes, that means you won't get that perfect attendance award.  Yes, dear, I know your fever's gone and it only lasted a little while, but rules are rules.  You've got to stay home from school until your fever's been gone for 24 magical hours.

Kids are rewarded for earning money for the school, for learning to read and for never getting sick.  I learned to read when I was a kid, but the only reward I got was that I was ahead of other kids with my SRA reading cards (bragging rights that were only important to me).  When I was a kid, I remember earning money for the school, but I was never left out of a celebration because I wasn't the class cash cow.  I remember being sick and staying home, but I don't remember sobbing because I wasn't going to get that coveted perfect attendance award.  There are things that deserve rewards and things that are just something that should be expected.  Some things need to be taught at home and some things must be taught at school, regardless of the expectation of a reward.

I suppose I should be thankful, though.  She's bugged because she can't go to school.  My mom was inundated with fake illnesses from me throughout my entire educational journey....well, with the exception of college because then I could just say "oh, yeah, my class got cancelled, so I'm sleeping in."